Where The Hell Are We going?

It’s been a little while since I’ve blogged on something not a review.

My life just isn’t that interesting sadly. I’m going to talk about school for a little bit and then get into some of the things I’m looking foward to and also not looking forward to.

So I go to a prodomently hispanic College in the Bronx, N.Y. The fact that it’s mostly latinos doesn’t bother me mostly because since elementary school I’ve been going to school with mostly spanish people anyway. This serves me and diserves me; oddly in the same way. With these people being mostly spanish students I have an automatic disconnect. Not that I needed a further reason to be disconnected from society; but, the notion of literally having nothing in common with the people I study with allows me to live a social life within college that is equvalent to a shadow. People will notice I’m there; but, at certain parts of the day and when the day is over I won’t be. There was a time elementary school and some high school that I wanted to be popular and accepted by my peers. Somewhere around 10th grade I let that silly notion go and now I’m strive for mostly the opposite. I like the idea of not having to engage in twenty conversations when I walk down the hall. Some people call it anti-social; but, I don’t see it that way at all. It’s not as if I’m going out of my way to avoid people; I just don’t do backflips to make impressions on people. I’m always there for help and I will support someone; but, there’s no point in trying to be someones friend when I’m almost sure that we have nothing in common.

Friends and I often joke that I am a 40 something year old white woman; because of the things I say and do and all the culture I’m into. Look I’m aware of whats going on in the popular world; but, I don’t give a damn. Popular culture is anti-culture to meet at this point in our society. It teaches to be different for the sake of standing out and being noticed OR being the same for the sake of not standing out and being ridiculed. It’s somewhat twisted and it’s a bit frightening at that too. Imagine being one of these people who really HAVE to be accepted; Imagine how hard they have to work all day, everyday to try and fit in into society just to be accepted just to justify their own existance.

It’s a maddening thing to try to precieve; but, that’s the world we live in and it’s wrong. I know and otherpeople know it. I just don’t understand how pornography has gotten to the point where it’s the social norm and the entry way to acceptance. Skimpy outfights and vigorous booty shaking will make a girl popular; while ownership of someone with those qualities will make a boy popular. Listen there’s nothing severely wrong with it; just that it seems odd to be in main stream-culture. I watch pornography and enjoy it; but, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start a commercial ad to promote everyone else to do it. I’m allowed a vice; hell, I’m allowed to LIKE my vicel but, it’s not my place to spread it. “Practice what you preach” is a silly term to me. If you know what I’m saying is right why must I adhere to it for you to do it? If I murder people; but, tell everyone else not to murder why does somehow equate to my advice being null and void? It doesn’t make me a good person at all; I agree; but, do you only listen to good people? and are good people the only people who give sound advice?

I’m not a busy person; but, I don’t have time to keep up with the Jonses. For example; I cannot for the life of me understand why people are interested in other people’s lives. A good friend of mine, a really good friend, watches MTV (yuck) and watches a show called “Making the band” in which viewers tune in to watch a group struggle with the pressures of recording an album and touring and all the tortuous problems that comes with a successful life on Television. Now while I can understand why he wactches the show; I cannot understand why he CARES about the show.

Anyone can watches anything for momentary entertainment value; and our current society is so fit to just watch other people walk around eat and curse. But CARING about what happens is a whole different story all together. How can someone elses life be more interesting than your own? How can Aubrey’s problems of being signed to a successful record label be more interesting than my own problems?

It’s not something so outrageous it’s not something that is odd; these people have normal, fabricated problems. The other idea is that I’m not sure what people think; clearly these reality shows aren’t real. No one acts the same when the camera’s are around and their dealing with P-Diddy. P-Diddy! this guy is just about as real as the easter bunny, sitting on a rainbow, drinking jawa juice whilst talking to the car from chitty chitty bang bang. There’s no redeeming value in these shows; and worse off you’re giving someone else your time and money!

I won’t understand society today clearly and I’m sure most of you reading this won’t understand me; but, that was my attempt. I’m destined to stay this way for a while. And their destined to stay that way so I guess I’ll live here and they’ll live there.

We’ll See…


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