Still Around and a round and a round and…

Sitting in this room right now, I’m very bored, it’s only 8:00 a.m on the dot.

I have a final to do today and I’m not in the mood.


So there are three guys I really like and I want to date all three of them but, there are provisions to each of them.

The first is the one I like the most I think but, I don’t want to further over-complicate things with him. I mean it’d be nice to re-enter a relationship but, it wasn’t working when it ended and in doing this I could putting a nail in the coffin for any future prospect of being friends or getting along.

The Second is someone else I really like but, I fear a relationship with him. I know that if anything were going to wrong it could really implode anything good we’ve ever had going.

The third is just some guy I have a crush on. He’s smart, funny and very good looking, he’d be the most different person I’ve dated but, I don’t think he’s interested and if he is then he’s already involved with something or someone.

So I don’t know what to do, at this time I want the third guy the most because there’s less danger there and honestly he’s just so damned cute I just want to pinch him.

I’m just not the dating type, I’m interested in guys but, I’m not good at being proactive with them and when I am I get rejected 90% of the time. It’s always the right guy but, ALWAYS the wrong time. I really don’t want to spend months dating and going through rejection there’s honestly not enough going on in my life to let something like that in.

I wish I was drop dead gorgeous, I wouldn’t have this problem and I could move on but, Alas I’m not so that’s a dead dream.

The other thing that really frustrates me is that NO one I ever am attracted to ever makes the first move, it seems that I’m only attracted to guys who are nervous and shy or not interested in me. This is obnoxious to a high degree, I wish ONCE a guy I like would just say “hey lets go out on a date” Do you know what I would do? A back flip, I’d do a back flip, I can’t even touch my own toes but, if that happened I would do a back flip.

The other two guys are good guys but, one is just going on with his life without me and the other is…a case study. There’s so much right and wrong with him. He’s got a lot of good qualities but, he offers no kind of excitement whatsoever. Whereas the other guy I could have a banal conversation with but, it would become something more interesting through time but, with this guy the conversation will depend solely on me the entire time and it’ll go nowhere because nothing is going on with him and thusly he doesn’t have anything to really say.

It’s days like that where I miss my first BF, not that he was a good person or anything but, he was always interesting and knew what to say to make me excited and interested.

Its all a bit disheartening. I’m always the one in control, I’m the one people go to to make the plans to get everything going and that plays out in everything I do, so I hold on to this dream that one day I’ll have the relief of having someone come over and take control if only for a moment and just say “Hey, Let’s do this I like you”, maybe I’m intimidating, which won’t make sense, the only people I can intimidate are people who are already “in”.

Maybe soon who knows what’ll happen in the future, for now I’ll have to take it one day at a time and just get through these finals so that I can even get a grade for this semester, I really shouldn’t have waited this long to do them and now I’m on a mad dash to complete 4 papers in 25 hours.

If only this third guy would come through!

Enough of that; there were a few things I wanted to get across in this post, seeing that I don’t have the discipline to write once a week you may not see another post for a year!

– Terminator Salvation: Good movie, not perfect, not T2 but, then again what is? The first half wasn’t bad, it was introductory, I know we know terminator but, this is the first time being in the future after Judgement day, somethings have to be explained. The middle was good and the end was great, at moments there I thought iI was watching a Cameron film. Some noteworthy mentions include: Sam Worthington’s acting he’s good, he’s very good, he’s the movie, he is the strength of all the scenes he’s in. Sam Worthington’s Face, what can I say, watching him on screen was helped by his cute face. Christrian Bale, He does it again, he plays this incarnation of John in a different way but, it makes sense to the story and he makes a good hero. The Action, very good in a lot of ways the action in this movie was the opposite of Watchmen, it wasn’t superflous, it usually served the story and only one scene seemed Gratuitous and long. Arnold: The Cameo was better than I could have thought of. The Music: i liked it, and I don’t like Danny Elfman.

– The Pretenders, coming back to the U.S. late summer, Maybe a show in Central Park, *fingers crossed*

– 24, what a great season definately up there with seasons 1 and 5, can’t wait for them to start shooting in NYC for season 8!

– PS3, I like my PS#, I like the features I like Killzone 2, I’m glad I got it!


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