Archive for June, 2010

3D – America’s New Threat!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2010 by thenewserials

“The world is getting stranger”

Well that’s true! Here we are in 2010 the new decade, everything is becoming, smaller, shinier and more ‘efficient’. Our Ipods make calls, our phones play music and our playstations “only does everything”.

And in the midst of the cultural and technological storm we see the resurgence of Three Dimensions! Ah, yes the same technology that gave us Jaws 3D is coming back to take over the world. Now every movie you can find in theaters can be found in “eye popping 3D”, so for all those who have been dying for the next Miley Cyrus movie have her seem actually there…you’re in luck, you can now have three dimensions of unbridle t(w)eenage angst!

But while you’re enjoying the bachelorette on your new 3D T.V. Terrorist maybe plotting against you!

That’s right the new invention of the 3D printer should be scaring you into a tizzy! A printer that can show you your boss’ lunch plans in ‘eye popping’ realness, could be the very thing that the scourge of the underworld has been waiting for for years!

Imagine: a secluded cave in Afghanistan, five men in mask stand over a machine as it pumps and groans out a piece of paper. When it churns out their prize they jump in excitement and standing in their hands is a 3D ticket of ‘Eclipse’!  Their devious plan is almost set, now they can go on the internet and look up bomb making materials and no longer need to use the cpacity of their brains to construct a bomb.

Think of the horror that would have ensued if the times square bomber had printed out the plans for his makeshift bomb in James Cameron realness!? All the pieces would have been aligned and precious American lives would have been lost.

All around the world people would learn which wire stops the timer and which wire detonates the bomb! Hollywood will be unable to create another suspenseful scene again!

3D technology will only help gangs, mobs and terrorist groups all over the world will no longer need to convene their top agents to go over the blue-prints for their doomsday machine. Now and Freddy Freedomfighter and Timmy Terrorist, will be able to see the ins and outs of the trigger that sparks the ammonium nitrate to explode!

Surely you can see the sheer and horrific truth about 3D. While you’re watching Na’vi fight for the freedom of Pandora, some shady eyed saboteur plans your demise with the same clarity as Toy Story 3!

Stop the 3D advancement especially the 3D printers, this July 4th it’s the only American thing to do!


Daytime Emmy Rant!

Posted in Entertainment, Review on June 28, 2010 by thenewserials

Yesterday I readily strapped myself in, ready to be dazzled and amazed by that one event that comes but one time a year and threatens to detonate my television with such excitement that I may have to buy a spare just to get through the second half! Filled with the hottest people on television and the more drama than the Source Awards and the G20 summit combined!

No I’m not talking about the Bachelor; I’m talking about the Daytime Emmy Awards!

I tuned in to watch my favorite soap opera rack in the awards one by one, whilst being entertained by the most genius actor/actresses and creative teams. Unfortunately this wouldn’t be the experience I would have!

Opening with David Copperfield (my first WTF moment of the night) I thought I was going to be wowed as he made some beautiful soap starlettes appear, disappear or turn into Tigers or something but, I was vastly unentertained when all he did was make Regis Philbin appear.

Philbin a competent host was interesting to watch but, even that wouldn’t save the rest of the show which would be plagued with awkward timings, strange faces, odd camera errors and a tan that could illuminate most of south east Asia.

But before I go on to the bad let me acknowledge the, very few, things I enjoyed on the show.

#1 The outfits, generally everyone looked very well, though I was only paying attention to my very lovely All My Children actors and actresses no one seemed to be hideously dressed. Special mentions: Jacob Young, Bobbie Eates , Rebecca Budig, Chrishelle Stause and Susan Lucci twice (she looked stunning in both her Black dress and White gown).

#2 Chubby Checker: is there anything else to say? It was Chubby Checker and everyone was twisting! Could they have been having more fun!?

#3 The Charity that Motel Williams broke down talking about; almost brought a tear to my eyes. It was also good to see J.R. Martinez, that guy is totally an inspiration!

#4 the Performances – The Lion King, the Blue man group and a host of others were very nice to see. It doesn’t surprise me that they would have to import talent from NYC to spice up your show (hint hint, AMC)

#5 Agnes Nixon – What can I say, she deserved it! and she got it, always good to see credit given where credit is due!

Now, the bad. some of you might not like what I have to say but, I’m sorry it needs to be said!

Marie Osmond – What is going on with her…everything? She looked like one of those strange marionette dolls, propped up onstage for the enjoyment of some crazy demon worshippers. This isn’t new either, she’s looked odd for some time now but, last night was sort of embarrassing, she stumbled through her song and just looked strange the entire time. Isn’t someone going to go to her and say: “Sweetie you need to tune it down a bit”, the botox has gotten out of control. One more facelift and her eyes will be stuck between the back of her shoulders.

Dick Clark – i like Dick Clark, despite some of his shady practices, I think he might be a stand up guy. After suffering a stroke he’s still got his sense of humor and wit. The tribute to him was fun too, minus the Marie Osmond and his break down was hard to watch. But what concerned me was how ORANGE his face was. What was going on? Is someone tanning this man to his grave? There’s no reason for him to have looked that way and I often wonder where are the people who can see and say clearly: ‘No you don’t need any more tanning spray.’  Again a great tribute but, what is going on, there’s no reason to have Dick Clark glowing like a Cheeto.

The Commercials- What was that “Safebook” commercial about? and why did it play everytime the Emmys went to commercial? It just seemed like strange propaganda.  Futhermore the show came on abruptly on during one of the commercials and everyone looked confused! There was some strange editing problems going on last night, CBS just couldn’t seem to get it together.

All My Children – How can it be one of the most popular shows on television and not have won ONE Emmy last night? And why is this chain of events so uncommon now-a-days? I’ll be the first to admit that the writing on the show has been a little shoddy as of late but, still in the past years we’ve seen the return of Julianne Barr and the exit of David Canary in one of the most endearing love stories on All My Children! That deserves some credit within itself! But, not one mention of that or the rest of the good year AMC has had! Instead I was repeatedly beat over the head with the Bold and the Beautiful winning Emmy’s! What kind of sham awards show is the academy holding out there in lala Land!? Anyone who watches AMC knows that since his return Vincent Irizarry has been acting circles around all the other soaps on television and when he acts great he pulls the great out of other actors as well. How this is being ignored is beyond me. But, you can rest assured next year I won’t be watching as intently.

As always you can find me on Facebook and Twitter at: &

The Gospel of Divorce

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2010 by thenewserials

An old axiom prescribes that one should never meet their hero, in fear that the meeting might be less than spectacular. That your hero could somehow let you down and change your course of action in life.

It’s a depressing thought, spending your entire life idolizing and loving someone only to find out that they’re not who you really wanted them to be. Some of it is selfish, yes one shouldn’t expect a human being to be anything other than a human being but, what happens when one comes face to face with God?

Maybe not possible but, a common consensus seems to be that the closest way one can get to God is through organized religion. It’s an open door to knowledge, salvation and acceptance and to be apart of it one would have to marry the religion. An undying, unconditional devotion to one religion.

I knew this, I knew this from an early age. My family was married to a religion, Jesus Christ was our absolute savior and ultimate patriarch, I was married through birth but, somewhere down the line, when I wanted answers, when I sought out God on my own terms I realize that I had to divorce myself in order to learn anything.

My divorce from religion wasn’t instant, it was a gradual fall from religious grace. As I pondered the typical hypothetical and philosophical questions I found no one in my religion had any answers that didn’t seem contrived or derived from some sort of comforting lie.

I was in pain watching the world flow the way it was under my religion. It didn’t make sense that I could bow to the whim of a being of ultimate power but, that being couldn’t or wouldn’t stop the suffering I saw before my eyes.

How could I be morally expected to support a system that claimed power and dominion over all but, did not stop the madness that seemed pointless?

Even more disheartening was that the religion had somehow turned it’s back on me. I watched as people quoted scriptures and passages explaining why I was an abomination of epic proportions. I knew that these people were using the religion but still. How could my God allow them to do such a thing? Not only was their poison infecting the name of the religion, it was sieging my life and stalling it.

And so the slow divorce started and it was painful. Suddenly everything I believed in was thrown into question, I went from feeling as if I knew the most important things, to not being sure about anything.  I didn’t resort to Atheism though; I became aware that not knowing anything wasn’t as horrible as it initially sounded. I accepted that things may be that I could never really understand, or things may be just as I see it in the world with my own two eyes. I had no reason to believe one over the other both seem, wholly possible so I accepted not knowing anything and allowing myself the room to learn if it were possible.

So I divorced myself from religion, while it claimed to have answers I claimed that nothing could have all the answers, or any answers.  Religion, to me, wished to teach in confines, to teach everything within its knowledge but, I wished to learn as much as I could from an infinite source: experience.

Could I honestly anger God by seeking it out on my own by looking at His or Her world with my own eyes and not by the words of some ‘prophet’ that may or may not be a liar?

Should my faith be in man or in the evidence before my eyes?

So I filed in my mind, for fraud religion is not what I thought it was going to be. I feel more comfortable now but, it is a dubious achievement to say the least.

Remember you can find me on Facebook and Twitter at:

From The Minds Of A Cereal Killer.

Posted in Uncategorized on June 26, 2010 by thenewserials

There’s a lot of things one can rationalize in the world; we can rationalize divorce, crime moral ambiguity and a whole slew of other things. Not everything though, some things I refuse to let be rationalize, loss of innocent life, the destruction of the natural world and mindlessness for no reason are some.

I realized I might have been insane after my ninth or tenth psychotic episode; standing in line waiting for my chance to purchase a CD someone behind me actually said: “You know that Jennifer Lopez movie with Ben Affleck wasn’t half bad”.

I was shocked by the blatant idiocy that I felt my mind snap in half creating another ego that would be forever cynical in the face of public admiration and culture. This other ego was instantly disgusted by standing around listening to the mindless dribble of idiots telling it how ‘cool’ the current culture was and how by, not participating in it, it was losing out.

Enraged at the whole situation he threw his hands in the air and walked off the line.

That was almost ten years ago now and we live in relative peace together; yes we’ve found things we agree with and we argue about things we don’t but, I’ve come to love this other ego and so I named him “Bryant.”

Bryant essentially hates everything; if it’s popular he hates it. Not because it’s popular but because he thinks that it has no substance. It angers him that we live in two culture driven communities: One as an African American and the other as a Homosexual. Ashamed of neither he finds himself unable to attach himself to either.

He can’t bare to bring himself to watch a Video by  Jay-Z, Beyonce or Drake and cannot stomach listening to more than three seconds  of Lady Gaga, Madonna or Rhianna. And yet he cannot find anyone like minded in his world; he lives alone, inside my mind, occasionally knitting and writing poetry.

Occasionally though he has moments where he wants to scream out and voice his anger. This is usually February or June; Black History Month and Gay Pride Month respectively.

He asks: How can he be reasonably expected to feel proud of being either when neither are proud of having him?

Bryant: “There’s nothing profound in being bound to a race that will discriminate just as badly as they have been discriminated against. It’s pathetic, one cannot hear himself thing when the two sides of him are not in agreement. The constant struggle to achieve equality is hindered every time one side makes a gain. African Americans have the majority in a vote – Success Then they turn around and vote down Gay Marriage – Defeat. Gays gain civil liberties in your state – Success, Hate crimes from minority gangs against gays go up – defeat. Not to mention the blatant racism in the Gay community, there’s still a qualitative difference between a Gay black man and a Gay white man.

Essentially I just ignore the black community; there’s no other choice really. Success and education seem to be hinderance in the community. Case and point: I speak correct English – I’m not black enough. I don’t listen to rap music – I’m not black enough. My inability to be ‘down’ makes me unable to be the correct kind of black and so I do not exist. Now of course this isn’t absolute, not everyone treats me that way but, the community and the culture does. To want something other than a pipe dream of rapping and ‘ballin’ is a instant sentence to non-blackness. Yes folks I fear they’ve revoked my Black Card…and I think they gave it to Justin Timberlake.

The Gay community: just as lost in the sauce. At least African Americans have a reasonable amount of equality in this world; I can’t recall the last time I heard a group of black guys attacked because they were black I’m sure it happens but, I don’t think it’s as common place anymore; but switch that to group of gay guys attacked by black guys…uh yeah check, seen that one. You’d think with all the injustices freely floating around the gay community would be more put together. In fact the same issues that occur with my African American ‘friends’ happen with my Gay ‘friends’. My inability to listen to Lady Gaga and wanting to club at constant intervals that would lead me to a coma, essentially breaks my apart from the homosexual party. I’m devoted to a thought, not one particular thought but, just thoughts in general. How did my two communities get stuck with a culture that was so synthetic and based on superficial ideals?

Where are the African American and Gay Youths? Clubbing? Dancing, smoking? Enjoying their Drake/Lady Gaga mash-ups?  Where are all the displaced ones? Where are the people concerned with the fact that in 2010 two gay people can’t get married in most of the country or a black man cursed with the mind of a philosopher can’t be seen as black enough?

I might be dramatic, maybe I’m a liar, my psychosis playing tricks on themselves, letting one believe the other is right? But Hermits aren’t entirely self-made. Something has to convince them that hermitism is a viable idea.

And so a day before the Gay pride parade, my mind has it’s own parade, a parade that I’m not actually bound to believe the smoke in mirrors that the gay pride parade presents. Things may be happy and elated for some but, until they take the shackles off themselves both communities will be doomed to an inevitable destruction.

The most pathetic of losses will always be self defeat.

Tracy Bonham/Jp, Chrissie and the Fairground Boys

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by thenewserials

The starting of a new adventure. Being a Pretenders fan, I’m always excited when I see the letters CH when referring to a first name last name. So when Jp Jones, Chrissie Hynde and the Fairground boys were announced to be coming to the city, I new I HAD to go.

Fueled by the numerous good reviews from friends who had seen the band perform live in L.A. and my own joyous feelings after viewing the KCRW show on the internet, I knew this was going to be something I wouldn’t forget and through the graces of a VERY good friend my ticket was secured.

Fanatical and obsessed may be one way to describe my feelings, the show started at around Seven and I arrived at about One. Sat in the Cafe read a Star Wars comic and enjoyed my time.

By the time the show was starting I was surrounded by many of my Pretenders friends, ready to experience this very familiar but, very different event that is Chrissie Hynde. Not too familiar with JP Jones I was totally clueless about what exactly I was going to be seeing and hearing.

Tracy Bonham’s opening set was the perfect way to start this show, sitting in seats that weren’t my own my friend and I reveled in our guest sets no more than five feet from the stage, designated for “Shakira”. We were instantly impressed with Bonham’s voice, violin playing and inventive use of simple themes to get across points that are the subject of such examples of the normative flow of life. Sensual with a splash of humor and a tinge of cynicism Bonham’s writing style is not to unlike what were were going to see next.

There’s always a tinge of unexplainable excitement when I see Chrissie Hynde and tonight was going to be no different. As she walked out and took the stage with the boys I found myself smiling ear to ear, along with my friend and a very excited Sandra Bernhard. They took their instruments and sat down and smiled at the audience and Hynde uttered that phrase I’m so used to hearing: ‘Are you ready girls?’

Starting with “If You Let Me” the show was already a success, the small venue with the sound of the music echoing through it was just what we were all waiting for. Rarely do I have the experience of instant love but, it surely came over me the moment Jp Jones opened his mouth. I knew what Hynde sounded like already and I had heard the song before but, something about being there and hearing him made the whole of Fidelity! make more sense.

I suddenly got how their voices both opposed and complimented each other, an artistic foreshadowing of the content of the album. How this intensely personal album, about their relationship was being shared with us. Not just as a man and a woman coming together but, two creative forces finding a passage through the other, and event that’s not very common and even more rarely viewed by the human eye.

And as Hynde cooed: “Cause I’m not fine by myself” I could see in JP’s face a total recognition of himself in what she was singing. To hear their song being sung in front of these people, I could see everything making sense.

As the two went through the song it inflated higher and higher into a moment of complete triumph at the end (as every song would).

The band continued through their songs, a setlist that took as through want – Fairground Luck, Understanding – Fidelity and the harsh realization of ultimate loss – Perfect lover amongst others. It’s hard to fully put into words what exactly what was going through the room that night. Somewhat of a calm electricity that went through each and everyone of us, every note, every lyric and every look was something different and more exciting. Whether it was Hynde’s Harmonica Solo, Patrick’s slick and wonderful licks or JP’s powerful assertions, everything felt perfect but, not so versed that it seemed like a recital.

At the end of the night, I found myself totally sold on the project, it didn’t matter what I heard from there on I knew this was going to be an album that would become an instant classic to me. The funny thing about good music is that often times one has to look for it but, every once in a while it falls into your lap and you’re blessed with something genius without having to beseech it.

Fidelity! Promises to be more interesting than anything else around and I for one can not wait; though my patience may be an act of Fidelity itself.

Something Profound; Something Pointless

Posted in Uncategorized on June 25, 2010 by thenewserials

As I wipe the dust off of this blog, I suddenly remember that has almost been an entire year since I’ve written in it.

Why is that? Well because I’m totally undisciplined and have convinced myself that I had something more important to do than write. It’s no surprise, I don’t have anything happening in my life to fill this blog with something that’ll make drop your orange juice in shock upon reading.

In fact it took me over an hour to figure out what the password to this thing was. But now that I know I guess I don’t have any real excuse not to type in it.

What has happened in the last almost 12 months that you should be kept in the loop about?

Nothing much, Jp Jones and Chrissie Hynde are putting out an album and I was lucky enough to go to a few shows and hear the music, great stuff can’t wait for August 24th to purchase the album and hear the rest of the work. Oil Spills, the end of the natural world…but, you know all about that already, so I won’t bore you with my idealistic ideas about what to do to the great Tony Hayward; who, apparently, only wants his life back.

Today is also the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. I’m not going to gush out my feelings here but, I will say that it’s hard to believe it’s been one year, since I was sitting here, with my heart pounding, hoping that the news reports were erroneous or at the very worst superfluous. It’s also hard to believe that a man who’s been in my life essentially since birth is dead, he was a hero of mine and now he’s gone.

It’s a strange world we live in; reality always seems more surreal than the ones in my dreams.

I’ve also joined on Twitter; I know somewhat of a sacrilege to my words but, I’m allowed to be a hypocrite. I’m doing it more as a business venture, get my name out there, my writing too. This blog will, hopefully, be a extension of my twitter site.

I’m still writing Tekken which can still be found in the same place it was before but; just in case you forgot where that was:

Take some time out to give it a read, it’s been really coming along despite the fact that I have taken somewhat of a break from it. I’ll get back to it, I always do. I’ve also been thinking of a lot of new projects, so if your interested in co-writing, ghost writing or even doing some artwork for a comic book or graphic novel, please get in touch with me I’d love to hear from you.

Alright that’s enough of this; we’ll be seeing each other again.