Vers le bas avec la monarchie! l’assujettissement du Roi James!

Lebron James…

Just another cog in the systematic nonsense that the American media has to be, hopelessly obsessed with. In the midst of a failing economy, two wars, racial tensions in the southwest and the nations biggest oil disaster of all time, the news is flooded with the reports of who Lebron James will sign with for the upcoming NBA season.

And even though it’s been said an overwhelming amount of times, I can’t help but; exclaim: “Who the Hell Cares?!”

It’s hard for me to imagine, as a reasonably intelligent person, that anyone, even Basketball fans, cares this much about Lebron James. “King James” as he’s called: has been flooding my news stations for the past two weeks with his mulling over what team he’s going to join now that he’s a free agent.

And at first I would say: here we go again, the media is being a twelve-year-old fanatic again but; then ‘King James’ decided he’s going to hold an hour-long event to announce what team he’s going to.

I mean, how pretentious can you get? To think that there are people in the world who take themselves that seriously. Have people forgotten that (despite the fact that he may be good at what he does and that he may be a nice person) he’s only a basketball player? Maybe that sounds a little harsh but; it’s the truth. He’s a basketball player, he will in no way enrich the world with technology or ideology, he won’t find the cure for a disease, he won’t stop wars or rid the gulf of oil. He gets paid millions for throwing a piece of rubber through a hoop.  There’s already something perverse about that last statement but, that’s the kind of sick world we live in. Teacher can barely afford to live in the richness of NYC but, Lebron James can be offered millions with the support of such renown and prestigious artifacts such as Jay-Z, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and others, to potentially come to the city and win (or lose) some games of basketball.

At the end of the day however; someone has refused to take off the 3D, alternate reality glasses. While the world is somewhat wasting away and people are dying of hunger, famine, disease and war. While innocent marine life is being extinguished by BP’s catastrophic oil spill and their simple-minded solution to BURN the oil off (effectively burning all the wildlife trapped in the slipper slick) people are OBSESSED over James’ act of loyalty or treachery.

There are so many ethical oddities in this case of James I don’t even know where to begin. The first would be the designation ‘King James’. Now, as you may know already, I’m not religious  but; it seems very moronic to compare a basketball player with no real discernible credits to advancing the world, to King James.

Now if he was going to slam dunk a basketball into the gulf, effectively separating the oil from the water then I would be all for this. Hail King James if he could do that.

This also highlights one of the many reasons why I hate sports in the first place. On the surface it seems like an outlet for teamwork and camaraderie but; let’s face it, that’s only when you’re contracted to be that way.

James was discovered in Akron, Ohio (we all know how much amazing talent comes from there!) and played for Cleveland and became the pride and joy of a state and city, that has been in desperate economic and social follies for quite some time. And now his aspiration to win some championships has him leaving his home and the people who have been the most loyal and proud of him. It’s a deception that at the very least seems just sad and at the very worse seems purposeful and spiteful. Sure he’s not obligated to stay but, everyone else wants you because you can be used to make them better, your home wants you because your one of them.

And what does this mean now? Now he can play for a new team and make more money, to buy fancy cars that he won’t have time to drive, expensive watches to ignore when he’s late for practices and box seats at the greatest stadiums to watch concerts of artist he doesn’t even really like and can’t see because he’s so high up.

Ah, to live a life of unnecessary luxury, to be cooed by the soft sound of all the dollar bills you can’t spend, rubbing against each other as someone else working two jobs is forced to foreclose on their mortgage because the economy has double dipped.

I often wonder if the second coming actually happens, how will the media approach it? Will it be breaking news? Will my precious auto-toned songs of ‘Glee’ be interrupted?

I’ll probably never know but, if Jesus Christ is coming back I hope he doesn’t do it during a Lebron James Special.

Remember you can always find me at: and/or


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