On: Personality Flaws

I need one but, I'm afraid I might corrupt him

I never pretended to be an amazingly together person. I like to think that I act with a great deal of logic and kindness but, every so often I can slip into a rage of total foolishness and selfishness. I admit I have flaws in my personality, ones that wish I didn’t have but, nevertheless I do.

Sometimes I can sink into such a dark place that I don’t even know what i’m doing anymore. I scare myself at points, I ignore my responsibilities, I alienate the people I care about and what not.

I give into the beastly feelings of my animalistic ways, i’m no different than any other man, except sometimes I think I’m twice as mad. I can become some mad that i physically cannot find a place of comfort. It’s an inescapable nightmare that haunts me every so often.

It’s as if there’s another person sitting on my chest insisting that my getting up is a criminal offense. I’m incapable of falling in love the right way, I can love but, For some reason I can retain that feeling in others, either I smother them to death or I force a drought upon them.

i didn’t ask to be this way but, I have accepted that this is who I am. I transpose my flaws into my creative writing or use it to attack the problems of my ethical issues. Who better to charge the fight against an immoral than an equally immoral person? I know the animal better than most others will and I can be the one to slay it.

The fatal disease that poison that infects our society and permeates our legal system is the same thing that flows through my veins and threatens to consume me in total. But If I’m strong and can conquer, or at least learn to control it I may have a chance to be the one who plunges the spear in its heart.

I am not a warrior

I am not a monk.

I’m just a man who wants to either tame the monster or embrace it wholly.





One Response to “On: Personality Flaws”

  1. ah, i see you’re having an encounter with the beast as well? not a pleasant thing. all i can say is, do not face him alone- you have people that would love to help you slay him. I for one have felt the same feelings you are right now and it’s pretty much the suckish thing ever. too bad life cannot be more simpler.
    im sorry im not as much help to you as you are to me- you’re writing mesmerizes me. ❤

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