DCS

Dear Danny,

Who am I? I ask you this seriously. Who the fuck am I? How the hell did you fall in love with me?

Ever since you left me, I’ve rebelled against you, I’ve been looking for something to replace you with, to get rid of that void. Someone to make me as happy as you did and I’ve failed and in return I’ve destroyed what we had.

God, you would hate me, if you knew me and who I was you would hate me. You would feel so upset at what I’ve done and said with other people so close after your leaving but, Danny I want YOU, I wanted to be close to you. To hug you, To shampoo your hair, do you remember that? We made that pact not that long ago but, it seems like it was forever ago now.

Have you forgotten? Was I not GOOD enough for you? Is that why you left me? I did something wrong and let you slip from me and now I’m continuing to do wrong by you because honestly I don’t understand what has happened. How could you come here so quickly and take my heart and then leave me so quickly in the same fashion?

Don’t you know what you mean to me? Meant? Mean? Meant? past tense, present, whatever. Are you out there? Really?

Are you out there reading this now, making me suffer because I did something wrong? Keeping this secret from me? Come back. Just for a moment let me know, just give me that moment. I deserve it.

Ugh, I’m such a hack. I’m copying from Stasia. She always writes to you, she’s such a good friend, she loves you, like you deserve. Why couldn’t I be more like her? Why can’t I honor you that way? How come I’m so fucked up Danny?

Remember what we used to say? Brothers in the fight, <4, all that crap? We were such kids weren’t we? haha. We acted tough but, we found a way to be kids to each other. Frootloop and all those things.

I want to go back to that, I want you to be around, I want you to just lie to me, lie over and over. Or don’t lie just exist again. Hate me if you have to. Tell me all the terrible things i am, call me out, say you’ve been all those people in my inbox just to see if i would go through with it. Post it up in a note, let the world see, do it

DO IT

just come back. That way I know I didn’t kill you. It couldn’t have been me. I would have done anything for you Danny. You were like my…

Where are you? I can’t make sense of this post anymore.

Somewhere in this day you came and hijacked it. I just wanted you to know that I miss you.

I’m a monster but, I was your monster for a little while right? Surely you remember that, that you had me. You, so protective and possessive, and I never minded. You remember that, you can’t forget because you won’t let me forget will you?

Ok no more.

I Love You, but you knew that already.

Just…forget it.

Don’t forget i love you. Just forget I’m pathetic. think of me with the same wonder you had before. I can be that man for you. just give me the reason, come back and I’ll be that man.

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