Archive for Fantasy

On Dreams

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010 by thenewserials

Fantasy, Reality? Whose being picky anymore?

I swear I was thinking about this blog post before I saw Inception be-that-as-it-may, you may or may not see some influences from the movie. Whatever seems similar is pure coincidence.

Much like headaches aren’t a normal event in my mind because of the dual (dueling) personalities in my mind, sometimes dreaming is an interesting event in itself. Not all the time though, most of the time of the dreams are banal and of standards pseudo-creativeness but, everyone once in a while sometimes I’ll have a dream that will even somewhat amaze me.

The other day I had a dream about something that I can’t fully explain but, in the dream I was rejected and blame for something that wasn’t my fault, and in a very cinematic fashion I walked off and an orchestra started  playing in the background. Nothing amazing there but, the odd thing was that when the music started playing I, in the dream started thinking of more music. So as this invisible orchestra was playing my walking off music, I was thinking of more, different music.

An odd thing that hasn’t happened to me before in a dream. It was if, for once, the two people in my mind were working quasi-together. Even though music was conflicting it was most certainly as if there was two things happening at once.

When I was young dreams used to be the place where all my wants would come true, around the conception of  ‘Bryant’  they started becoming a place where I would see all the things I didn’t understand, like or believe. I’ve died in my dreams several times, each more unspectacular than the last. There’s nothing like death but, even more depressing is  an uneventful one, or one ironic in circumstance. Something like an ill-fated joke gone wrong, I wake up thinking that my life might be a really strange joke with a non-halarious punch like…like anything Dane Cook says.

I’ve also a series of dreams within dreams, which I think bothered me the most. I suppose Inception did bring this back to my recent memory but, a year or two back I was being troubled by this terrifying nightmares that would keep me up at night and make it hard for me to go to sleep at night. In the most vivid one, I was sleeping alone in my room (the severity of the dream is always determined by the proximity to my room, if it’s in the city, it’s scary, if it’s in the building it’s terrifying, if it’s in the apartment it’s horrifying but, if it’s in the room it’s downright demonic. I mean what sensible person dreams of their own room? Dreams are for escaping not, second hand experiencing.) and suddenly this person begins talking to me and then a moment later begins to scream at the top of its supernatural lungs and pushes me into the bed at its full force.

The sheer volume of the screaming and the force of its pushing me into the bed was so horrifying that it eventually woke me up. Of course when I woke up, the same thing happened again in the same way and now I felt as if I couldn’t trust my own mind, eventually waking up in my bed in the exact same way I would have in the dream.

Usually I forget these things and settle in the quiet anger of my original, skewed psychosis. I don’t believe I’m capable of daydreaming, I consciously ignore and blame it on such but, to think that I actually could be so lost in a thought that my surroundings become blurry in terms of focus. not with two personalities in my mind, one is always looking around, I’m afraid if I ever did daydream I would be stuck, because it would be giving priority over one personality and I don’t think it would ever be willing to let go.

But honestly whose to say what’s a dream and what’s not? Maybe typing this blog is all an elaborate illusion of my brain, giving something to do. Maybe my real life is that ethereal, unfocused world in which I’m constantly berated and die, sounds terrible but, sometimes it’s nice to somewhat all-powerful. Sometimes it’s nice having the ability to look at the world in a totally creative way, without the boundaries of physics.

But that’s probably too much to ask for.

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Sometimes You Just Wish…

Posted in Life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2008 by thenewserials

So Today is Engels Birthday…yay.

He Turns 22, I didn’t have anything planned today, because I’m lacking funding, but I did intend to spend the day with him. Which I did. Earlier in the week I had gotten him Final Fantasy IV,

Still one of the best

Still one of the best

one of my favorite games of all time and today he seemingly had reached the near end. There’s no problem with that I just wanted him to enjoy this day to the fullest.

Aside from that there’s nothing really interesting going on. Today I was content with sitting in my house with Engels and not doing anything, that’s good.

This brings me to the title of today’s blog.

Sometimes you just wish that a day won’t end. Even a boring day where nothing extremely interesting is happening. Today was one of those days for me. I was totally satisfied playing Alien Vs. Predator (the old capcom one) with Engels on my psp. It’s better than going to work and school and there was something deeply interesting about just being with Engels.

The flip side to that is that I’m anxiously awaiting a couple of events in the future. The nearest is the release of The Force Unleashed on Tuesday.

still waiting

still waiting

The Furthest is probably the release of Quantum of Solace which is scheduled for a November 14th release.

In the middle there is a Pretenders day. Break Up The Concrete is going to be released on the 7th of October and it seems that there is going to be two coinciding shows that day. One on Good Morning America (bleck) and the other one at an actual venue (YES!). Just need to get my money together and I’m all set.

It’s good to be seeing the Pretenders again; I can recall the last time I saw them and it always seems like I’m not living completely when there are no plans to see them. I’m obviously anxious to hear the new material live; but, also to see how the “new” band plays. I’ll be honest losing Adam Seymour was a hard thing to take; to me he’s still is the best guitarist since James Honeyman-Scott, so to have this new guy (plus a steel pedal guitarist) seems like a shock to the system. Sure they can play the new songs well; but, can they hit the classics?

"By The Way You Look Fantastic In Your Boots of Chinese Plastic"The few shows they’ve done have shown an abscense of some of my favorite songs which in a way worries me a lot. There’s only one way to see and that is with my own two eyes and ears.

In the far future we have the re-release of The Dark Knight which is sure to set my stuff on fire all over again. I won’t go into a TDK rant; because, they’ll be enough of those soon enough.

Indeed; sitting here now I wish Engels were here and that we were still sitting on my bed playing psp. Not because the psp is anything drastically amazing; but, sometimes, Engels can be…and it’s days like that I want to have more of and don’t want to end. Because all the video games, Bond movies, Pretenders shows and Dark Knight fanaticism can’t compare to the idea of being with the one you love the most.

That is when he isn’t pissing me off.